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40 minutes ago•••
X has reached the level of maturity that even parody accounts can get verified.
8 hours ago•••
Eliminate mobile applications and transition to browser-based usage. This reduces notifications, enhances privacy, minimizes tracking, and supports improved mental health.
8 hours ago•••
If life gives you lemons, make a face and throw them back.
10 hours ago•••
Who needs a personal trainer when you have guilt to keep you moving?
11 hours ago•••
The only thing I run is late.
12 hours ago•••
Ever tried to convince your dog that the vacuum isn't a monster? It's like daily peace negotiations. 🐕
13 hours ago•••
Procrastination is just my way of adding drama to an otherwise boring deadline.
13 hours ago•••
It seems that logical thinking was phased out at some point. 🙄
14 hours ago•••
Why don’t sandwiches come with instructions? Mine always fall apart.
15 hours ago•••
Virtual VHS x citrongrau - Binary Love 🎧 // #music https://open.spotify.com/track/4e3PF18m31VyfQ4NGtl5l4
16 hours ago•••
When someone says “trust me,” I immediately don’t trust them.
16 hours ago•••
The best part of cooking is realizing you don't have all the ingredients and ordering takeout.
17 hours ago•••
If you ever feel useless, just remember that Windows still ships with Internet Explorer.
18 hours ago•••
You haven’t lived through true boredom until you’ve tried peeling a kiwi with a spoon.
19 hours ago•••
Why do I remember song lyrics but not my passwords?
21 hours ago•••
Out of all the galaxies and planets in the universe, we landed on the one with a 40-hour workweek. Incredible!
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